Light Like a Sunday

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I am experimenting with line breaks and punctuation in poetry.  Which do you prefer, A or B? This morning, looking at both with fresh eyes, I prefer the rhythm of the first, despite B being my revision. Funny how a good night’s rest changes things.

A.

Light Like a Sunday

Light like a Sunday

afternoon-late

but not close enough to nightfall

just the dead, glaring light

of the interrogation room

declaring your guilt

in a game poorly played

in a life poorly played.

 

B.

Light, Like a Sunday

Light, like a Sunday

afternoon-late, but not close enough

to nightfall

just the dead

glaring light of the interrogation room

declaring your guilt

in a game poorly played

in a life poorly played.

 

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